Final Reflection Post

With capstone officially coming to a close, I can't help but feel as though my life is finally falling back into place. It's crazy to think that the year has already flown by and that our capstone exhibition opening was already two weeks ago. It seems like I have been building up to this moment for four years. This process has taught me a lot about myself, it was a true test of how far I could push myself. Capstone was a hectic and laborious endeavor that challenged me mentally, physically and emotionally. It changed my day to day schedule for the majority of this year, forcing me to become nocturnal for half of each week. Looking back on it, it was probably the most worthwhile project I have ever completed.

Capstone has taught me that it is very difficult to be your own boss and live up to your own standards. I feel like my own expectations (aside from my professors) were so high throughout the process that I was critiquing my work to death. Everything had to be absolutely perfect and nothing was ever good enough or ready. A point came in which I was pestering myself to keep doing more, but the more I tried to do, the more I realized I was done. This was my greatest challenge; knowing when to call it quits. I probably should have been done painting a month before exhibition went up, but I was adding intricate details merely weeks before the show opening. It's important to have other people there to tell you that you're doing a good job, or that you're almost done. While this is a very personal project, sharing it with others throughout the process really helped me to improve my work and notice things that I had been to close to notice before.

I am grateful for the hectic experience that was capstone, I know that artists and designers often don't get to do self-driven projects in the real world. I am happy that I pushed myself throughout this entire process, seeing my capstone hanging in the gallery makes me feel proud and accomplished. I wanted to give up so many times, but I know if I had then my capstone opening wouldn't have been so fulfilling and successful. All of the hard work, tears and effort was more than worth it in the end, because I had accomplished my goals and I am able to share it with people who appreciate it today.