Final Reflection Post

With capstone officially coming to a close, I can't help but feel as though my life is finally falling back into place. It's crazy to think that the year has already flown by and that our capstone exhibition opening was already two weeks ago. It seems like I have been building up to this moment for four years. This process has taught me a lot about myself, it was a true test of how far I could push myself. Capstone was a hectic and laborious endeavor that challenged me mentally, physically and emotionally. It changed my day to day schedule for the majority of this year, forcing me to become nocturnal for half of each week. Looking back on it, it was probably the most worthwhile project I have ever completed.

Capstone has taught me that it is very difficult to be your own boss and live up to your own standards. I feel like my own expectations (aside from my professors) were so high throughout the process that I was critiquing my work to death. Everything had to be absolutely perfect and nothing was ever good enough or ready. A point came in which I was pestering myself to keep doing more, but the more I tried to do, the more I realized I was done. This was my greatest challenge; knowing when to call it quits. I probably should have been done painting a month before exhibition went up, but I was adding intricate details merely weeks before the show opening. It's important to have other people there to tell you that you're doing a good job, or that you're almost done. While this is a very personal project, sharing it with others throughout the process really helped me to improve my work and notice things that I had been to close to notice before.

I am grateful for the hectic experience that was capstone, I know that artists and designers often don't get to do self-driven projects in the real world. I am happy that I pushed myself throughout this entire process, seeing my capstone hanging in the gallery makes me feel proud and accomplished. I wanted to give up so many times, but I know if I had then my capstone opening wouldn't have been so fulfilling and successful. All of the hard work, tears and effort was more than worth it in the end, because I had accomplished my goals and I am able to share it with people who appreciate it today.

Final Class Critique

All Faculty Critique #1

In my opinion this critique went much smoother. I felt as though I had a much more concrete idea that finally seemed realistic. I was much better prepared for this critique after having adequate time to research and finalize my ideas as well as begin the execution. I got a lot of insightful feedback from all of the faculty and also some more information on organizations that I can look into. I'm going to focus on the bulk of the work for the next month; painting and organizing all of my  research into efficient and informative info graphics. I know there is still a significant amount of work ahead of me, but I finally feel like all the pieces are starting to fall into place and this capstone is quickly becoming a reality.

Critique One Reflection

Well I was unpleasantly surprised when I received the feedback for my first capstone critique. I thought I had adequately prepared for my first critique, I spent many hours trying to refine my ideas and develop reasoning behind them, but apparently that still wasn't enough. I anticipated that the purpose of the first critique was to help me sort through my ideas and weigh the positive and negatives for each, but instead I nearly failed because I hadn't begun any "work" yet. I wasn't about to dive into something that I wasn't going to finish, I truly felt that I needed the feedback before I started any "work". Were my sketches not considered work? Were the hours of research I did not considered work? Or was I supposed to come in with a fully painted window...would that have been enough?

I was under the impression that we should have well-developed ideas before beginning any physical work. I am annoyed with the criteria set up for the first critique, but I still appreciated the feedback I received. In my years here I had learned that having a well-refined idea was the most crucial and important step to conquer before I touch a paint brush to a canvas (or in this case window). But I guess for the purpose of passing capstone and being able to graduate from college, I will ignore what I know and make sure that I have nothing but work to offer and show in future critiques. My goal for the all-faculty critique is to have more work than anything else; because apparently that is all that matters. I will jump ahead in the process of my capstone to guarantee that I do not fail again, even if it means my work is not reflective of my full potential.

Capstone Ideas Powerpoint

Where I want to be a year from now...

A year from now I will just be getting started on my journey as a "real adult", and while that scares the hell out of me, I am slowly coming to the realization that my career as a student will be coming to an end. A year from now I want to be driving a new jeep and excelling in my first real job as a designer, while I try to not freak out about the fact that I will no longer be able to enjoy the luxury of a summer break. I will be taking advantage of my time working as an in-house designer at POV Solutions and I will be learning as much as I can while I strategize my plan to leave Ohio for someplace exciting and new. I hope that a year from now Kendrawz will be taking off and people will start to recognize my name and style. I hope to have participated in as many art shows as possible and to have given out another 250 business cards a year from now. I hope that my art work will be displayed in local stores around Marietta and Cleveland. A year from now, I hope to be adjusted to my new name, Kendra Embrescia, and I want to be able to look back and be proud that I have changed my identity for the better. I want to use this transition as an opportunity to become a more proactive, outgoing person. One year from now, I will finally obtain my passport and will be planning my first cruise with Alex, while I figure out if I should really move out of my grandparents’ house just yet. Ideally, we'll both get our stuff together a year from now and be looking at homes to buy together, a home we can work on and restore until I drag him to Hawaii with me. A year from now I want to be able to say that I have sold a second window painting and maybe even a third. Although I can never really know where the next year will take me, I do know for sure that I want to be able to look back a year from now and be proud of how far I have come and excited for what the future has to offer me. I also see myself getting a pet kitten.